Husband: unknown Russian woman’s husband

Items Destroyed: Husband’s life and folding couch

Cost to Husband: everything

Story: Unknown Russian woman had one too many nights with her drunk husband. Unknown husband was chillin on the fold couch, which apparently folds up into the wall to save space, and angry wife kicks the handle to start the couch fold up operation. Drunken husband can’t escape and gets trapped in the mechanism. The wife being the compassionate thoughtful woman she is walked away and returned a few hours later and noticed what she thought was quiet sleeping was actually lifeless death. Such a fine line.

Boyfriend: Jeffery Dawayne Watson

Items Destroyed: her body

Cost to Boyfriend: Jeffery’s peaceful drive

Story: This one is pretty straight forward. The 2 love birds got into an argument that went something like this:

Marquita: Why don’t you be takin out da trash befo it star smellin like fish up in our crib?

Jeffery: Woman I told you I want some meet up in hur. I ain’t about to touch yo nasty fish!

Marquita: I’m seriously gonna jump out dis ride if you don’t change yo ways Jeffery, I’m straight tired. Say you gonna change.

Jeffery: <silence>

Marquita: You think I be playin?

Jeffery: <speeds up to 85mph>

Marquita: I’m out dis mofo….*bounce* *bounce* *roll* *skid* *crash*

Jeffery: she crazy as hayell

Marquita was taken to the hospital with serious injuries. Jeffery rode home and got the best nap of his life.

Husband: unknown

Items Destroyed: mother’s hearing, daughter’s confidence

Estimated Cost to Husband: deaf wife and a daughter filled with lifelong guilt over it

Story: Talk about a one two punch, female on female destruction right here. When Gail’s daughter was 4 yrs old she went to kiss her mother on the ear after her Mom had returned from work. Apparently it wasn’t the volume of the kiss that did the damage but the suction. The little girl sucked so hard it displaced the eardrum and paralyzed 3 bones (see diagram). What the heck kind of kiss is this little girl going for? The mother is taking it like a champ and is more worried for her daughter.

“Schwartzman said the kiss was painful, but said her daughter’s emotional scars are more agonizing.”

To add insult to injury, this A-hole doctor had this to say.

“The moral here is simple,” said Levi Reiter, chairman of audiology at Hofstra University in Hempstead, N.Y., who studied Schwartzman’s case and said a similar incident happened in the 1950s. “Try not to hurt the ones you love.”

Gee, thanks doc, as if the little girl didn’t have enough guilt. Why don’t you just go ahead and seal the future of dysfunction for this little girl, appreciate it.

Items Destroyed: Face, Segway

Estimated Cost to Husband: $0-$5000 (cost of new Segway)

Story: Woman foolishly forgets that technology and females are constantly at war with each other. She gets a bit too comfortable and pays the price, the video tells the tale.

Stupid videos

Husband: Mr. Green

Items Destroyed: Sobriety, stable family, criminal record

Estimated Cost to Husband: Single fatherhood, bitter children, dysfunctional home

Story: Marya Green was pulled over at the Green Acres Mobile Park (surprised?) on June 3rd. The officer approached the window and found Mrs. Green’s 1 yd old son steering the car. Her two other children, ages 8 and 5, were in the back seat. Mrs. Green blew a 0.11 and was arrested and charges with DUI, driving under a OVI suspension, noncompliance and endangering children. My favorite quote from the police officer:

Let’s be honest, a one-year-old child doesn’t have the skill to drive a car. We all know that.

Thanks for clearing that up officer. Here is the wife that did the destruction.

Items Destroyed: Mayonnaise, clean kitchen floor

Estimated Cost to Husband: $0.75 worth of mayonnaise

Story: The mayo knows how much I enjoy it on my sandwiches and know it has no hope of survival staying inside the fridge. The first crack of daylight it sees it jumps form the top shelf and splatters on the ground. Leaving puddles of itself on the walls, floor and electrical outlets. As wife is cleaning the floor I think I hear her say, “Wife Destruction is pissing me off” under her breath.

Items Destroyed: Tasty sandwich

Estimated Cost to Husband: satisfied appetite

Story: My lovely wife made an amazing sandwich for me for lunch. She placed it carefully in the toaster to give it that sort of Quiznos flavor without the puke taste(anything worse than a Quiznos sandwich? no). *Ding* timer goes off and when she tries to remove it the sandwich falls off the tray and into the toaster abyss. Picking up month old nuggets of various food items that have collected on the floor of the toaster. Removing the sandwich made things much worse as this process involved mostly rolling it around and pinning it against various toxic mechanical parts of the toaster not meant to ever come in contact with ingested food.

One thing these pictures don’t show is the smoke pouring out of the toaster, oh it also doesn’t pick up my wifes anger at realizing the commitment on my part to this website.

Items Destroyed: Index finger and penmanship

Estimated Cost to Husband: $5,000 bond to release wife + medical bills

Story: Adelghun Johnson attacked her husband David Johnson after David pushed his crazy wife away she grabbed his right hand and bit the tip of his finger off at the first joint. The nutty wife was arrested and released on a $5,000 bond.

Items Destroyed: boat, clothes

Estimated Cost to Husband: Unknown

Story: Judging by the spray paint I think we have a pretty good idea what went down. Husband cheats, wife gets payback. Not a fair trade, but it is fair game for this site.

Item Destroyed: Canon PowerShot SD450 (digital camera)

Estimated Cost to Husband: $340.00

Story: My wife doesn’t seem to care all that much about laws of physics when it comes to electronics. She decided to tuck away the digital camera in her purse that is filled with hard glass objects (nail polish), sharp pointy items (pens) and rough hard objects (coins). She flings that purse around like an indian swings a bola. Right when she walks in the house, BAM, dropped on the tile floor. Enters the car, SWING, there it goes against the door, you get the picture.

So I need to take a picture of an item I’m selling on ebay, ask where it is and when she tells me it’s in her purse I already know what to expect. Take it out and the screen is completely bashed, rendered useless. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried using the viewfinder in a digital camera, but it’s not how a $350 camera is intended to be used. Here it is: