Mayo sick of fridge life, jumps to death

Husband: Kyle Campos
Items Destroyed: Mayonnaise, clean kitchen floor
Estimated Cost to Husband: $0.75 worth of mayonnaise
Story: The mayo knows how much I enjoy it on my sandwiches and know it has no hope of survival staying inside the fridge. The first crack of daylight it sees it jumps form the top shelf and splatters on the [...]